A Best Man's Ultimate Guide

Nailing the speech and being the best, best man!

Congratulations, you’re the best man! It’s a big honor—and with great power comes great responsibility. No worries, though! I’m here to walk you through how to be the best best man with some handy tips. Think of this as your crash course in wedding-day heroics, speech-making, and supporting your buddy on his biggest day.

Best Man Responsibilities: Be the wind beneath his wings!

Your job isn’t just to show up looking dapper. You’re the groom’s right-hand man, his secret weapon for a smooth wedding day. You’re going to be nervous, which is a good sign that you’re going to do a great job. Here are a few key duties:

• Wedding Day Support: Keep the groom calm, on schedule, and hydrated—yes, with water (at least a pint in the morning). Have a stash of snacks, tissues, and anything else he might need. This is also there if the bride gets light headed. The couple usually get a glass of fizz after the ceremony, then they get hugged and photographed for half an hour. Organise a drink for them for when that first one has ran out, which is normally fairly instant!

• Helping the Photographer: You’re probably thinking this one is the whole reason I wrote this blog! All I can say is weddings with a really diligent best man get better photographs. Period. Often a best man will come to the couple shoot to hold drinks, jackets, umbrella if its raining etc. You are a superhero to me in this moment, and when they have their pictures - you were a big part of it being possible. During the group photographs, it's great if you can delegate some tasks, take my phone with image lists, don’t let bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents and other family run away. Help the videographer by having a few really beautiful lines that can feature in the video edits. Often the groom can be so nervous, sniffling etc that the audio isn’t as good as the best man.

• Managing Loose Ends: Be on the lookout for anything that needs an extra set of hands—whether it’s fetching an extra chair, grabbing forgotten items, helping an older person get about, or coordinating last-minute tasks. Sometimes it’s best to utilise groomsmen and friends - everyone wants to be helpful and just need prompting.
  
  

• Supporting the Bride and Bridal Party: Don’t just focus on the groom. If the bride needs something or there’s a logistical hiccup, jump in. A smooth day for her is a smooth day for everyone.

The Speech: Your Time to Shine (and not get shot after)

The speech. I’ve only heard about 500 of them. I can tell you it is important. Especially if they have a wedding film. But it doesn’t need to be funny to be amazing. I’ve let a few tears fall on the viewfinder from the best man when basically, in a few short sentences and crack in their throat he or she has directly told them - I love you and I’m happy in this moment.

1. Don’t Use a Generic ChatGPT Speech

Sure, AI-generated speeches are great as a starting point, but your best man speech needs to be you, about you, you and him, and them. People want sincerity and personal stories, not canned lines. Use real memories, genuine thoughts, and your own voice—that’s how you connect. There have been a few speeches that can’t be posted as the couple know it word for word from another wedding they have seen online.

2. No Crude Jokes—Seriously, Just Don’t

Cringe humor can be hilarious in the right context. This is just isn’t it. Even if they have filthy humour and everything is game for a laugh. That joke about how long the groom will last in bed… Don’t do it. I love awkward humor as much as anyone, but in front of family, friends, and Grandma—nope. Remember, the bride has poured her heart into planning this wedding. After the wedding day, life goes on but they will always have been given a microphone and chose to do this to their friends. It’s really easy to leave it out. The biggest no is talking about exes and previous marriages. Give it a skip.

3. Say Something Beautiful About Both the Bride and Groom

The heart of your speech should be about them as a couple. Share a story about the groom that shows who he is, but also include something lovely about the bride. Better yet, tell a story that shows how they bring out the best in each other. The more personal and unique, the better.

4. It Doesn’t Have to Be Hilarious

Some of the best speeches aren’t gut-busters—they’re heartfelt and honest. If you’re not a natural comedian, don’t force it. A simple, sincere toast can be more memorable than an over-the-top performance. I have used entire best man speeches as audio for wedding films, nervously delivered, no laughs - just beautiful honest words that totally made the film.

5. Limit Your Swearing

One well-placed swear word can be hysterical. Swearing in every sentence doesn’t work, we aren’t in a pub. Even if we are in a pub! Keep it as sophisticated as you can.

6. Beware the celebrant will steal your stories!

It is the job of the celebrant to tell the story of the couple. There’s a solid chance they will use all of your speech if you don’t think of a few things they haven’t told the marriage officiant. Ask your best friend what he told them. Try and think of a few stories, maybe not the obvious ‘best’ stories.

Godspeed. I’m here to help before, or on the day if you need it.

Try not to worry too much. Like me on the photos, it’s an intimidating task but we are chosen to be there - they love you and they’re going to be eternally grateful to have this memory of you, their best man.